Hi, my name is Linda and….
OK, seriously, I have no idea how long it’s really been since I’ve had a donut (26 days, 4 hours, 13 minutes, and 12 seconds) but I can assure you that somewhere in my head there is a group of brain cells screaming “Give us donuts!” and here I am, writing this for you in an attempt to ignore their sad, pathetic cry.
Let me back up a little.
A couple months ago, I quit my job. I quit my job because I wanted to pursue my passion for writing and so I could pay more attention to me, not only in terms of watching Netflix and sleeping late but to take better care of my physical self. I was at my going-away happy hour when someone introduced me to this buff guy named Jeffrey Smith.
“You should totally write for Jeff’s company! You’d be perfect!” they said. So I asked Jeff about his business. “dEVOLVE is about fitness motivation,” said Jeff.
I laughed. “Oh my God, you do NOT want a fat girl as your spokesperson,” I told him.
Jeff smiled and said “Let’s talk. Call me. We’ll do lunch.” and handed me a card. It said “Jeffrey Smith – Previously Fat Guy.”
Fast forward to last week when I met Jeff for lunch. Do you know how much pressure it is having lunch with a fitness guy? I considered ordering the kale and quinoa salad but thought that might be too obvious. Instead I went with a turkey sandwich, hold the bread, with a side of kale and quinoa. OK, not really but I totally should have made Jeff order first because, not going to lie, I did stress out about it a little. (Then I checked my FitBit and it ends up that stressing doesn’t do much to improve your metabolism so what’s the point, right?)
So now you know the story of how I met Jeff and why I am writing this post for dEVOLVE. This is my introduction post. Hi, my name is Linda and I have been donut-free for 26 days.
I usually don’t lead with my donut addiction, but I made an exception for this, mostly because I want you guys to know that I cannot yet add “previously fat girl” to my business cards. I am 50 years old and I’ve been fighting this demon for as long as I can remember and I imagine I always will.
Alcoholics aren’t cured, they are in constant recovery. I think that’s the same for some of us fat people. We just need to accept that, wherever the scale is on any given day or year, this will always be something we deal with.
Good thing I’m not an alcoholic because, at least according to TV and movies, they always have donuts at those meetings and, well, while I can walk right past a cold beer, I never met a donut that didn’t stop me in my tracks.
I’m in recovery.
When Jeff and I met for lunch, I asked him a lot of questions about dEVOLVE. “What are you selling me, Jeff? Pills? Protein powders? Fitness DVDs? I’m onto you and your gimmicks.”
He laughed, probably because I’m hilarious, but maybe because he’s not trying to sell me anything. I grabbed a paper napkin. “Here, I’m writing down a number, what can I get for this?”
After all, I’ve paid into the system. I have my Jenny Craig Lifetime Membership card. I have the Thigh-Master and, yes, I bought the Shake-Weight. (No, you can’t see a video. I’ve already humiliated myself enough just confessing that.) I know how this works. Shell out the money for promises of a svelte figure and a lifetime of happiness.
Jeff said he’s not selling me anything. He and his partners are trying to build an engaged community of people who want to pursue the title of “previously fat” like they did. It costs you nothing to join. You don’t have to buy stuff from them. You don’t need to have certain equipment or to follow a specific way of eating. You don’t even need a gym membership.
Talking to Jeff brought to mind this quote:
Since I’m a multi-talented person, I made it into this graphic image you see. That’s not me in the picture, by the way (you probably knew that because of all the donut talk) but feel free to be inspired by her, by the quote, by the image. Go ahead – print it out and put it on your fridge or in your wallet or set it as your phone’s lock screen.
I’m starting a whole new chapter in my life and you might see my writing here occasionally.
Hi, my name is Linda and I sometimes eat donuts. I’m a work in progress, but I haven’t given up on my quest to be the best me I can be. Nice to meet you!
Linda Doty claims to be a writer, mostly because she’s already quit her other job and ‘writer’ sounds way more impressive than bum. You can see her work in several places besides her mother’s refrigerator. She’s contributed to a couple hilarious books available on Amazon. She occasionally blogs at JustLinda.com. You can follow her on Facebook or on Twitter @LindaInDisguise.